“No, it’s not ironic.'' That's what I have to say every time my very real fondness for Jimmy Buffett is revealed. I understand why so many think it’s some sort of joke, though. If you look at everything else I listen to, none of it sounds even close to Jimmy. My musical taste buds developed around early punk, garage rock, and power pop. I was named after the song, “Alison”, by Elvis Costello. I was taught to be pretentious from an early age. So it’s not that I listen to a lot of music in his style and, honestly, even if I wanted to, could I? Jimmy’s fairly incomparable; not a lot of music like his is going around. If you tune into the Margaritaville station on Sirius XM, which I often do, you’ll hear artists outside of Jimmy, sure. There’s a plethora of reggae, some Jack Johnson, some Kenny Chesney. I can understand why it’s there, but none of it sounds like my boy, Jimmy. Banana Pancakes don’t satiate like a Cheeseburger in Paradise, know what I mean?
Jimmy Buffet Fact: Jimmy started his career as a country musician in Nashville before becoming a busker in New Orleans. It took him years to establish his now signature style.
My man Jimmy carved his own path, which is why no one sounds quite like him (though many have tried). And, sure, you can and probably will argue his music is problematic for varying forms of cultural appropriation but, I don’t know, the way I see it, Buffett is always coming from a place of admiration. Better yet, many of his songs are a story about intertwining with strangers and embracing the culture clash that ensues. Most of what he sings about are tales of travel and the importance of getting away from routine and monotony. The entire vibe is escapism. A perpetual vacation, on an island, obviously. Wearing flip flops (a shoe I generally hate and very seriously believe men should be banned from wearing), and aimlessly strolling along a sandy beach. Over-indulging in sugar-loaded cocktails, and singing familiar songs with new friends. Life isn’t taken too seriously - even when serious things happen.
Jimmy Buffet Fact: In 1996 Jimmy’s helicopter was gunned down by Jamaican authorities because he was mistaken for a drug smuggler. So, in true Jimmy form, he turned around and wrote a song about the incident called, “Jamaica Mistaica”.
Lately, I’ve been feeling the need for some escapism in my life. I have a desire to flee from the day-to-day. I don’t feel sad, but I don’t really feel happy either. Of course, the state of the world is garbage, yadda yadda. We’re still surviving a pandemic, sure sure. But, I’m not speaking from a global perspective. I’m talking about me, and how I feel like I’ve been changing.
My twenties were a jam-packed decade. I went out every weekend and there were endless house parties and shows and plenty of people to make plans with. Now, in my thirties, it’s begun to unwind. Part of me likes that I’ve calmed down. I enjoy waking up at a reasonable hour without a throbbing headache from too many drinks the night before. I spent all of a recent Saturday reorganizing my two closets and, fucking hell, that brought me genuine joy.
I live alone, which I also love, and I’m alone a lot. Most of the time, honestly. For me this isn’t an issue because alone has been my default since childhood. However, I won’t lie and say there aren’t moments when I feel loneliness. My closest friends are partnered-up, and I sometimes feel a sense of dread that I haven’t caught up with them. I recently dated someone for two months who decided he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and I could barely muster the energy to be disappointed. Life has become too cyclical. The patterns keep repeating and I don’t quite know how to break free.
Jimmy Buffet Fact: Jimmy Buffett’s grandfather was a Canadian sailor who eventually settled in Mobile, Alabama. Thus Jimmy’s album title, Son of A Son of A Sailor.
I’ve been anxious. More anxious than usual. I’ve been feeling older and more irrelevant. I see the new iteration of younger comedians entering the scene and I sometimes feel like I can’t keep up. I don’t want to keep up. It’s exhausting, always feeling like you have to prove yourself. I sure as Hell don’t need to impress a 24-year-old character actor signed to WME in their first year of doing comedy. Nor do I need to get booked every night of the week. I don’t need to go viral on Tik Tok. I don’t want to suddenly pivot my comedy, or my writing, into something more “current”. I prefer staying in my lane. I prefer being more personal and more vulnerable and yes, talking about how dating is hard, so that’s generally what I’m sticking to. Sometimes, that feels hack. Even blogging about my frustrations could be perceived as hack. And yet, here I am, typing away. Yet still, I’m talking about my personal life and not throwing on some weird clothes and doing impressions of my mom if she was in “Euphoria” or whatever.
In moments of doubt and reflection, I think of Jimmy. Scoff all you want but the man carved his own path and stuck with it. There are no iterations of Jimmy. No “electric phase” a la Bob Dylan. No pop record a la Liz Phair. He is a never-changing tropical redneck and, in his prime, it made him a multimillionaire. It earned him a cult-like “Parrothead” fandom that still exists to this day. Parrotheads even retire in Buffett-branded homes. If Jimmy happens to find fans like me, it’s because we sought him out, not because he needs us. That’s the aspect I admire most. I admire Jimmy knowing who he is and leaning into it, no matter how many people may write him off as schlock or fuck music for retired stock brokers.
Jimmy Buffet Fact: Jimmy Buffett has written three, number-one, bestselling books but he was also once condemned by teachers across America for writing a song called “Math Suks”.
What others tell me and what I tell myself, during these cycles, is that I need to keep going. Something I appreciate about the cycles I’ve experienced is the perspective they’ve brought me. I may not want to change, but I do want to grow. I’ve gained the knowledge that whatever is cool now will stop being cool soon enough. Whoever is getting buzz now will eventually become comfortable writing for television and the buzz will die down. I also know that my feelings are cyclical. When I’m in one of my mental ruts everything feels permanently damaged– as if I’ll be stuck like this forever. But, as always, I’ll eventually snap out of it and love life again. My thoughts will improve and creativity will strike and my motivation will return.
So, whether it’s the best thing to do or not, I let myself chill in my dread. I don’t punish myself like I used to. I don’t try to force out productivity when it just doesn’t feel right. Instead, I blast the volume on the Margaritaville station and I drive aimlessly around my neighborhood, not knowing what else to do. I let myself drift around Target for two hours and ultimately only buy a towel or some hand soap. I think about crap that doesn’t matter, like Jimmy Buffett. I’m sure he too gets sick of his own shit every now and then. He must have those days where a fan approaches with two hands clasped over their head in shark fin formation, and he wants to shoot both them and himself. He too must have somewhere he escapes to. We all do. I escape to my own little island and the more I let myself settle into it, the more enjoyable it becomes.
Jimmy Buffet Fact: Jimmy Buffett is NOT a Republican.
Am I Jimmy Buffett’s biggest fan? Not by a longshot. I simply appreciate how he has made a life out of not really giving a fuck. I appreciate that at this point in my life I have learned that there are many ways to not give a fuck. In early adulthood, I thought only punks could do it, most of whom were rioting against truly trivial shit, like not getting played on the radio or parents not understanding why they’re atheists. Neil Young and Joni Mitchell took their music off Spotify before Black Flag did, let’s put it that way. Of course, I do not support idolizing anyone with immense wealth, and that includes Jimmy Buffett and his $200 Margaritaville blenders. But I don’t idolize Jimmy, I admire him. I admire the world he’s created for himself and for his fanbase, as well as the ideology. Try to have some fun. Stop taking everything so seriously and, instead, take a damn vacation.
Sometimes life is just about existing. Nothing more, nothing less. We are not meant to always fit in or be relevant or share our thoughts publicly or be perceived by an adoring audience. We are sometimes meant to get metaphorically (and sometimes literally) plastered under the hot sun and breathe in some salt air and stop fucking worrying so damn much.
So that’s what I’m doing now. Things will improve eventually. In fact, since starting this piece and taking a break and coming back to it over the span of a few weeks, things have already started improving and I actually don’t feel a lot of what I spent all this time writing about. But, I know I’ll feel it some time again for any range of duration. Peaks and valleys, as they say. If nothing else, the Margaritaville restaurant cheeseburger is fucking delicious and I think you should know that.
Thanks for that, I’m not that familiar with Jimmy Buffet but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
I too dislike thongs (flip flops) and as a man don’t believe in wearing them.
Keep doing your thing.
Thanks
This turned out great!