Starting around 2015, I was one of a number of women writing online about the dire state of modern dating. I believe I was one of the first to directly ask men why they’d ghosted me – a move which has since become quite hack in the world of pseudo-journalistic blogging. I wrote openly about the pressure to be “chill” in an often emotionally fraught dating environment that pressures women to hold back their feelings. I more famously pointed out that casual sex often felt like an unfair imbalance in pleasure and expectations between men and women. At the time, I wanted the dating landscape to radically change. I wanted communication to be clear and truthful. I wanted less copy-paste messages from men I'd matched with on dating apps and more honesty about their wishes and expectations for our time together. I wanted men to be more emotionally available or, at least, to urge them to do some serious introspection regarding their intense fear of commitment.
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