POWERFUL musing - I need to reread this to make sure I unpack all of the important details here. Initial thought though - the complexities of "dating afraid" are real and significant. Thank you for sharing this.
From my observation into the looking glass, your observations of fear of dating make absolute sense. I believe that women have always and continue to fear for their safety, and now men have a fear for their emotional safety.
So this is something women are going to have to contend with since men rarely do therapy, have no natural groups to share this kind of vulnerability, and going soft is a downward spiral.
The apparent honest answer (duh to women's rights) is to not be on those applications or state that the DTF view will not happen. The thing is on those applications, as documented, men are a dime a dozen, so any woman interested in intimacy-based fun will scroll on, which means with zero to no confidence, the guy's spirit will go lower.
It epically sucks for both sides of the gender house.
The simple answer is that gender and sexuality desire-based assumptions no longer hold. This change can be a good thing as it could mean that when women connect (even for a quickie), it will have a higher chance of being good, but another way to look at it is that the power has shifted to women.
So instead of the adage, I have the pussy, I make the rules; it is excellent. I am an authentic guy with a confident cock. Men do not feel what it is like to be desired or sought after. Thank the patriarchal set up, the man box, and all that jazz.
On the plus side, men internalizing women's fears and concerns is good. The problem is it comes at a cost, and for those women who have been waiting for safety and real masculine engagement, they may get it sans the cock.
For women that say WTF, remember it isn't about you. It is all about him. You are beautiful, intelligent, and have unique personalities, drive, and excitement. The wow factor isn't about your fragility but about the fact he is concerned his ability to be a good partner (even physical) isn't there.
Lying never solves a damn thing, unfortunately, but it does give you false hope of the possibility of having great sex or a fantastic time. The problem is folks then dream of romantic fantasies, which for women (IMO and male POV) is as dangerous as a guy that faps away to brutal core porn.
Great article and share as always, and I believe you hit this out of the park. It doesn't matter if you are in LA, Miami, Dallas, or wherever. This view crosses the entire spectrum of Americana. There are severe issues in masculinity, and men are absorbing and listening. The problem is that most don't have the tools to build the reserves and boundaries to ensure they have absolute confidence and emotional security to engage in intimacy.
If I divorced and were out, honestly, you wouldn't find me on tinder. It is too transactional for me; however, there are some social media circles where I engage with people I would try to connect with if they were open (for example, female writers on medium (dot) com). To each their own, of course, and so you know, I love your wit and style. You are a high-value person worthy of time, so I wish you the best of luck on your ultimate cock hunt :D along with the ability to nail the authentic guy that gets it.
I want to wish you the best of luck on your ultimate cock hunt :D along with the ability to nail the authentic guy that gets it.
POWERFUL musing - I need to reread this to make sure I unpack all of the important details here. Initial thought though - the complexities of "dating afraid" are real and significant. Thank you for sharing this.
From my observation into the looking glass, your observations of fear of dating make absolute sense. I believe that women have always and continue to fear for their safety, and now men have a fear for their emotional safety.
So this is something women are going to have to contend with since men rarely do therapy, have no natural groups to share this kind of vulnerability, and going soft is a downward spiral.
The apparent honest answer (duh to women's rights) is to not be on those applications or state that the DTF view will not happen. The thing is on those applications, as documented, men are a dime a dozen, so any woman interested in intimacy-based fun will scroll on, which means with zero to no confidence, the guy's spirit will go lower.
It epically sucks for both sides of the gender house.
The simple answer is that gender and sexuality desire-based assumptions no longer hold. This change can be a good thing as it could mean that when women connect (even for a quickie), it will have a higher chance of being good, but another way to look at it is that the power has shifted to women.
So instead of the adage, I have the pussy, I make the rules; it is excellent. I am an authentic guy with a confident cock. Men do not feel what it is like to be desired or sought after. Thank the patriarchal set up, the man box, and all that jazz.
On the plus side, men internalizing women's fears and concerns is good. The problem is it comes at a cost, and for those women who have been waiting for safety and real masculine engagement, they may get it sans the cock.
For women that say WTF, remember it isn't about you. It is all about him. You are beautiful, intelligent, and have unique personalities, drive, and excitement. The wow factor isn't about your fragility but about the fact he is concerned his ability to be a good partner (even physical) isn't there.
Lying never solves a damn thing, unfortunately, but it does give you false hope of the possibility of having great sex or a fantastic time. The problem is folks then dream of romantic fantasies, which for women (IMO and male POV) is as dangerous as a guy that faps away to brutal core porn.
Great article and share as always, and I believe you hit this out of the park. It doesn't matter if you are in LA, Miami, Dallas, or wherever. This view crosses the entire spectrum of Americana. There are severe issues in masculinity, and men are absorbing and listening. The problem is that most don't have the tools to build the reserves and boundaries to ensure they have absolute confidence and emotional security to engage in intimacy.
If I divorced and were out, honestly, you wouldn't find me on tinder. It is too transactional for me; however, there are some social media circles where I engage with people I would try to connect with if they were open (for example, female writers on medium (dot) com). To each their own, of course, and so you know, I love your wit and style. You are a high-value person worthy of time, so I wish you the best of luck on your ultimate cock hunt :D along with the ability to nail the authentic guy that gets it.
I want to wish you the best of luck on your ultimate cock hunt :D along with the ability to nail the authentic guy that gets it.